Is it just me, or does the Jenga-like quality of life feel especially close to the surface these days.
Precarious.
Teetering.
Unstable.
Somehow just looking all that is changing can fill, even the heartiest of us with fear. “It could just all crash down!”
Fear can be a gift or a curse. Fear is a gift inviting us to guard ourselves from potential harm. Fear is part of the reason you are still live. Of course, fear can be a curse… it can cause us shut down, attack those we perceive as threats, or even loose ourselves in escapist habits. Often during seasons of instability, we second guess which piece(s) to move, whether our hand is steady enough, whether our foundation is firm enough, or even if the wind of the Spirit can be trusted.
I’ve just finished a time of meditation, and yes, our Jenga game was in my line of sight. Mediation was followed with some journaling where I found myself looking at my “Jenga tower.” What is my world? What do I want to keep from collapsing? What am I afraid of? And why? What if it did fall? Has it already collapsed and I’m actually standing in ruble? How do I grieve my once beautiful tower? Was it a beautiful tower? What about rebuilding? Changing the design? Collaborating instead of competing? What now?
Part of what makes Jenga a fun game is pushing our tower’s stability right to edge of toppling. We thoughtfully select which piece to relocate, we carefully risk removing part of our tower, we examine the piece as we discern where and how to place it, and ever so gently add that piece back to the tower. There is that moment as we let go, not knowing whether the tower will stand or crumble. The longer the game goes on, more moves are made, and the tower of our making becomes more fragile. Change and instability seem to go together. But not changing isn’t how it works.
These days it feels like so many external factors threaten our little towers of perception & reality. With all that is happening in our world it almost feels like we’re playing Jenga in the middle of Spain’s running of the bulls.
I’m grateful for the many wise guides who invite (and help) me to see my tower and love it; while also seeing afresh that I am not my Jenga tower. Of course we know that all things are impermanent, and that each moment is our teacher but sometimes the fear of loss is great.
With all that is changing or feeling unstable. I want you to know that you are not alone. This could be a great time to engage some of the wise guides in your life, or to come alongside some of the people who look to you for support and wisdom. We all need each other. And seriously, if you would ever like to talk with someone I’m here, and I care.
Peace, dwight
