“Everything in God’s store is on the bottom shelf – you have to get on your knees to get it.”
Robert Collier
Anyone who has explored contemplative prayer or any other practice of intentional silence knows — or will soon know — about distractions. In the spirituality of silence, a distraction is any thought or image that enters consciousness, as a way of subtly (or not-so-subtly) distracting a person away from the silent meditative state, and back into the “surface drama” of the ego.
Distractions are frustrating. Here I am, trying to center my body and calm my mind and open up my heart and soul to the loving presence of God. And like having a picnic spoiled by ants, so nothing seems to be worse than having my silent time spoiled by all of my unruly thoughts!
Distractions can take many forms. Often they show up as worries or “shoulds” (“Gee, I better remember to send Mom her birthday card” or “Why am I sitting her meditating when I should be out there running? Gosh, I need to lose weight!”). Another common distraction is the excited thought, especially when something wonderful is going on in your life (“Oh, I didn’t think that cute guy I met at the food co-op would ever call, but he did last night — now what will I wear when I go out with him!”). And of course, distractions don’t have to be particularly dramatic or significant, they can be as humdrum and normal as thinking about your laundry or your dirty dishes!
- Observe Distractions with Curiosity
A big challenge about distractions is that they tempt us to resist them–but that only increases their power. Like Br’er Rabbit fighting the Tar Baby, the more we resist our thoughts and imagination during contemplation, the more enmeshed in the ego mind we become. Even though they seem to spoil our silence and our time alone in meditation, our distractions will not go away through willful resistance. The only way to deal with distractions is to befriend them, and then let them go!
2. Befriend your Distractions
Do not make them “wrong.” Trust your ego, your surface mind, to be part of you and therefore your ally, not your enemy! When you are filled with distracting thoughts during silent prayer, it does not mean that you are “lazy” or “undisciplined.” It may mean that you need to get more sleep, or you need to share a thorny problem with your therapist, or simply that you need to take care of a chore you’ve been putting off! Trust your ego to share important information with you, don’t turn contemplation into a struggle between the “silent” you and the “talkative” you!
3. Honor your Distractions, they are important
A helpful way to do this is to have a notepad and pencil handy. That way you can make an agreement with yourself, that if you should happen to think of something so important that it must be documented, you have the means to do it. Then you can quickly make a note to yourself, and resume your breathing and sitting in silent, relaxed attentiveness. Of course, having the paper and pencil handy usually is all it takes for you to recognize that most of your distractions can simply be gently laid aside in your mind, with no repercussions whatsoever. Contemplative prayer actually helps the mind to function more efficiently, so a meditative state makes you less forgetful–all the more reason to let go of distractions, trusting your mind to remember what needs to be remembered.
Do not fight your mind doing what comes naturally. Simply allow thoughts and images to rise in your mind…. And then dissipate, returning you into the deeper silence. Remember, the purpose behind contemplative prayer is to rest in the presence of the loving Divine, not to “prove anything” to anyone. God loves a busy mind as much as God loves a still, calm mind. The important thing is to be there, sharing your mind with the mind of God. Your mind is not perfect, and so your prayer will never be perfect either.
One of the Spanish Carmelites — I can’t remember if it was Teresa of Avila or John of the Cross — once said that if a person is distracted 100 times during prayer, that’s 100 opportunities to show God our love by turning away from the distraction and back to the presence of the Divine. Remember this, and be gentle with yourself as you pray.
Peace, dwight
